expanded list with no order

I have been living with my grandparents for over a month
They are two of the most wonderful people I will ever know.

Im trying convince myself to stay centered.
with little conviction.

Nobody reads this. Nobody cares.
but today I came to the conclusion that my existance still matters.
regardless of the difference I am making.

I am a lover of ideas, and not actuality.
I will always love the idea of you, and what you may represent.

I am getting to fucking old for rebellion.

mold and intestines

Fate is taking on new meaning in my life.
Id like to trust that if I simply let go, and stop trying so hard to control the chaos,
My life will be equally balanced with joy and suffering. this is okay.
It puts me at ease with the universe. commitment remains an issue.

vodka and orange juice

I lied and said I was happy.

I am happy.

I feel invigorated. but self conscious.
yet my ego is bursting.

I am fascinated.