Its probubly the only time I believe in god,
My trust in fate is defied- by lifes outpour of evil.
My mother deserves nothing but the very best.
She is the one and only good person in my life,
and some force out there is trying to take her from me.
trying to rob her of all the beauty that should come to her.
After the doctor expained the results she called Adam...
I cant be mad at her. She doesnt want to be alone,
especially if the promise of life is fleeting,
but I wish she had time to meet someone worth her time.
someone to cuddle with, and love who treated her well.
who was as deserving of the extrodinary love she supplies,
and could return it healthily. I want to be angry, to say fuck god.
fuck whatever is inflicting this upon us at a time that is already so hard.
We are getting evicted, my mom is tierd down with court,
and her dosing of methadone. Emotional trama from her ex boyfriend.
I am struggling, unable to provide for us and worn down from months
of one cold realisation after the other. It doesnt seem fair,
and challenges my belief that everything happens for a reason.
I refuse to believe that there is any good reason my mom should be put through this.
I have met deserving people, I have met people who should have the life sucked from them.
I want my mom with me always, knitting and laughing, with companionship, in nature.
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