my impulses tell me to bail.
I want to hide from everyone.
I feel transparent, my face only a dirty window-
looking into anxiety. I hate myself.
I hate the veiw I see looking in or out.
I get wierd. I fear people so much.
and I know Im not the person Im trying to be.
I have to much hesitance, but naturaully I have no social grace.
I would rather sit and say nothing, than take a chance at rejection.
I brag to make myself seem like the things I do are okay.
skipped school today to drop acid with some kids I hardly know.
half way though i kept feeling like they were judging me,
and didnt want me there anymore. so i shut down.
I couldnt look anyone in the eye. I couldnt get comforatble.
didnt know who to talk to. where my place was.
my hair was greasy, and everything just felt wrong.
Im weak, and cannot stand up. Im just doing the same shit over and over,
waiting for it to get better. waiting to feel okay around people.