DUCHHHEFUCKSHITASSCUNTBITCHFUCKKKERRRRR

my destroyer.
your indifference is staggering.
I gave you everything,
that you took with your stupid fucking lazy charm.
my bed, my ciggs, my weed, my money, my food, my cunt.
swirly boy. you smoke to much.
its imposible to speak, through ten feet of smog.
the lack of response turns me into an emotional infant.
I hate you.you fucking humiliated me.
I thought you liked me.
reaching your hand down my pants.
mine into yours.
so vulnerable. I was nervouse.
I liked you so much, and craved your reasurance.
It felt like love.
when you would pull my hair. cut into my back.
teeth, nails, grasping, panting, sweating, gasping.
and then lips, wet soft tounges like fat petals,
an unbarable indulgence. you were so good.
breathing on my neck.sucking.licking my ear.

but you never came. why why why.
was it me? I felt sick. like I couldnt get you off.
you didnt like what you felt beneath you.
then the distance. you became an asshole infront of your friends.
talking about other girls. wouldnt walk me home at 4am.
leaving me with short hostle response. rolling over.
moaning in your sleep, I felt like you were cheeting.
this imaginary girl. i couldnt get the facts straight.
I flattered myself. congering up an idea that you were so inlove with me,
things had begun getting complicated, and you where hurt,
cuz i was mad. but it wasnt.
you were just fucking erritated and wanted me to leave.


and today cheli called.
I told her to. and she asked you about us.
and I hate that middle school bullshit, but i had to know...
yet you made it clear that you had no interest in me,
and the sex was iniciated on my part.
cuz I wanted to. and were freinds,
but you dont like me, or want me. never did.
not looking for a girlfriend.
FUCCCCCCKKK YOOOOOUUUUUU.
you say it like I fucking molested you.
I was rubbing your side. that was it,
until YOU unhooked my bra.
YOU had the fucking hard on pressing into my back.
YOU started getting rough.
I took my pants off.
YOU did the rest of the work.
so fuck off. it was joint effort.
dont make me feel like a pitty fuck cuz your hot shit,
and I gained wieght. and I queefed (both times). AND i had no make up.
and it was really really really realllyyyy embarassing.
but we laughed, and it was raw.
for a minute we were human.
and i kinda wanted to die.
but it was ok.


still I worry i left you dissapointed.
all your girlfriends had big tits.
and I dont understand...
you never mentioned that your going to be a father.
your last girlfriend is pregnant. shes keeping it.
and it hasnt seemed to phaze you.
thats big. Im loosing it.
your memory is a welt on my ego.
nothing went as planned. I was so insecure.
you so nonchalaunt.
If it was just a fuck, why did we kiss.
why did you hold me. you cant do that to someone.
played me the fool, I worshiped you.