the phone call

I called alex.
worste fucking conversation of my life.
his voice was just teeeeeeeeeeming with disgust.
a one word answer. annoyance.
like I was such a fucking burden.
someone he looks down on.
I called him to trace a shroom hookup,
and this kid is THE GOD of mushrooms.
he knows where to get them day and night.
and he knew it was me before he answered the phone.
it was a very hesitant "helloo?". like he really didnt want to fucking answer.
 "hey its eliza" and there was a pause. "yeah?"
"you know hwere I could get some shroomz?
not even a pause. just an imediate "no"
and I was like "you dont have any hookups? your like my last resort"
"no" I could have killed him.
why was he being such an asshole. I didnt do shit.
I gave him everything. the passive agression was staggering.
before everything happend, when I would call him up,
it was like the happiest he had ever been.
he be like "ELIZA!!!!!" and now, nothing.
just blahhhh. fuck you.
so I said "huh. alright well thanks."
with as much hostility as I could muster.
and he said "yup"
and i hung up. my hands were shaking.
I wanted to die.