my sunday

just had a relaxed day with amanda and cheli.
got baked out of my mind, made a dank breakfast,
got dropped off from amandas. came home.
layed down. my sad heart. underwaerbreathing.
I thought of him. and listed my options like arnold in terminator.
what the fuck do I say to this guy, to get what I want.
but cheli texted me, and we were both bored...
so we thought our bordem would be more enjoyable together.
we sat in rocking chairs on the deck, as she ate soup.
and I drank a glass of water with a straw. we talked about Doug.
and she said I should call. but I refuse to.
If he wants me, he will call. If he doesnt care enough to call,
I dont want it to seem like I really do care. If he calls its my green light.
 (this is my fucked up logic) I think like this constantly and its exhausting.
Then we came downstairs and looked up youtube videos.
sat on the front porch and smoked my last bowl while listening to 'Dryer Maker' Led Zep.
came inside and played games on her phone for like an hour.
laughing our balls off, and being completly useless at it.
it was 9:00 and thats my cut off time for having people over,
so I walked her up to River Road, in a violent rain.
wearing a pair of spandex and a tee shirt.
we ate pomagranate seeds out of the peel,
and threw them empty onto the road.
Cheli is my favorite person to do nothing with.
and these kinds of days are so much better,
then the alternate ways I try to spend my time.