wowza

and my insecurities chew me up, and spit me out,
but life is good again.




just ate some vegitarian pizza,



got smoked out by ryan and doug.



doug's a cutie. hawaiin. sells weed.



does tattoos. has a car. badass.

I thought I had made a super stupid fool of myself.
but he texted me saying he would love to hang out again.
so im okay. everything okay. im just fucking neorotic.

being locked up for 11 monthes has left me a little more unstabble than I was before.
I rely on men to make me feel better. I need acceptance.
I need to be drooled over to feel worthwhile.

but the chemistry isnt there.
Its cold and clamy. no golden sandy boy.
this ones dark. i dont like his smell. Im not that attracted.
but its a destraction. I need someone to help me forget his feel.
his warm vibe. haha. Im 17 and i will never love again.
I will play medusa.