its humiliating. to be that girl.
who gets to attached. and cant keep her cool.
cant play my cards right, and have some self control.
when I love, it is fully and passionate.
I cant slow down, even if what we have is just in my head.
because YOUU dont actually exist, do you?
that which I crave from you is only an illusion ive created.
you were a template. I saw a future. the person I wanted you to be.
The way I wanted you to make me feel. but it aint like that.
dont people know how fucking sensitive I am?
how easily hurt?? cant you give me a break.
I hate hurting. Its so disgusting.
I cant sit still. but have no motivation to move.
i just want to lie here and hate myself.
hate you. hate. hate. hate. errbody. errything.
cuz its all just one big trap to fuck you over.
guess in the end thats all it is. but its the good stuff that counts.
the blissful periods inbetween the suffering. but those good times,
are what makes the downfall so painful. remebering. wishing.
then meeting reality. spitting in its face. and falling to your knees.
no way to win with this one.